Saturday School by jandco and withthevamps, O - S
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Saturday School
by jandco and withthevampsofcourse.
A brief history of this story- it was originally envisioned to be a slight riff on
the
Breakfast Club
with a different author writing each POV, starting with jandco as
Bella and wtvoc as Edward. The idea was that the next writer in the rotation
would have to pick up where the story left off; essentially, whatever someone
did in the chapter… you had to deal with, no matter what happened.
The story has no ending. Some authors left the fandom, others had some stuff
happen and we didn’t want to like, force them into sticking to our original
timetable. The reason jandco/wtvoc decided to pull the story was that it was
never going to be finished, and we just couldn’t see anyone taking the place of
the original authors. This is their story, too.
Also, as we were waiting to add more Edward/Bella to the hilarity, jandco and
wtvoc came up with a harebrained idea for a fic that we eventually called
Scotch, Gin and the New Girl
.
Anyway, in its original form- here is
Saturday School
.
Chapter 1
Edward Cullen was irritated.
Two weeks at this school, and he
still
couldn’t muster the energy required to get
to class on time. It didn’t help that his first period teacher was a total and utter
failure as an instructor. Sighing heavily, he slammed into the school parking lot,
completely unconcerned that he was the only one there because he was ten
minutes late.
Parking next to a shiny red Beamer convertible, he hopped off of his Ducati and
checked out his hair in the reflection off of the shiny hood of the Big Red
Dickmobile.
“What kind of douchebag drives a car like this to high school in a town this
small?” he wondered aloud. He noticed that the owner kept meticulous care of
the automobile, and he briefly wondered if the guy would be able to talk shop
with him. Edward rarely found someone whose conversation didn’t bore him to
tears, and he sighed again, sadly mourning the plebeian antics of small town life.
“Plebeian,” he snorted out loud, safely storing that word away for the next time
someone asked him a stupid question.
Striding across the campus, he ignored the ogling of the young girl making a
return trip from the bathroom.
Sigh
. Wasn’t there something else to stare at?
Edward knew that these boring children were simply fascinated by the new shiny
object, and he was almost angry that they hadn’t left him alone yet. There were
certainly hot girls in this school, but so far, he wasn’t impressed. None of them
could accurately quote Ginsberg, so in his book, that was a definite “no”.
He could hear the droning of Mr. Banner as he approached the biology classroom,
and he rolled his eyes as he distinctly heard the man mispronounce the word
“nuclear”.
Who the fuck hired this bozo, anyway?
He took a breath and opened the door, knowing he was going to get “smoldering”
glances from the Stanley girl and that whiny bitch she sits with. The two had
offered him a three-way his second day there, and while he wasn’t opposed to
the idea, he knew he’d never get that nasally whine out of his head if he had said
“yes”.
So, acting like a total woman, Edward said “no”. He really hoped it never got out
that he turned down a ménage a trois, because he certainly didn’t want it to get
around that he was gay. These children would never understand that he simply
couldn’t be bothered to “do” those two hoodrats.
He strode over to his empty lab table up front. No one was brave enough to be his
partner, and that’s the way he liked it. He cracked open his Calculus book,
completely ignoring the glare of Banner. The man was a jackass, but he had
picked up quickly that Edward Cullen knew more than the school had to offer. For
the most part, Edward was allowed to do his own thing. It obviously irritated the
man, seeing that all of his lab work was completed and perfect and the one test
Edward had taken since his arrival was the only hundred on a bio exam for the
whole year.
Absently doodling on his notebook, Edward almost didn’t even realize he had
spoken.
“Excuse me?” Banner asked, lowering his head until his glasses were propped on
his nose.
Without looking up from his epic doodling, Edward cleared his throat and
repeated, “I said, ‘you’re wrong’. It’s
Paragonimus
, not
Clonorchis
. Common
mistake.”
The classroom tittered behind him, but Edward paid them no heed. He simply
kept scratching his pencil across his notebook.
The teacher glowered at him. “Mr. Cullen, I’m sure you think you know
everything, but please defer to my expertise on this-“
But Edward huffed, heaving his shoulders in an exaggerated movement that made
his messy hair flop about on his forehead. Despite the held breaths of anticipation
throughout the room, some of the girls sighed heavily. Without rolling his eyes at
his admirers, Edward continued his deadpan to the moronic instructor.
“I’m right. You’re not. And by the way, it’s ‘nuclear’, not ‘nukular’.”
The man turned a brilliant shade of fire engine red. Pointing at the door, he
shouted, “Get. Out. Principal’s. Go.”
“Well said,” Edward snickered, grabbing his stuff and heading out the door at a
leisurely pace. He knew he’d regret the action later, but he winked at the Stanley
girl and her sidekick as he left. The two of them giggled, and he smiled grimly,
already ruing his idiotic wink maneuver.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
“Jasper, it isn’t funny,” Bella said. He was roaring in laughter as she blushed
furiously. Her arms were crossed, and she was refusing to get out of the car.
“I’m serious, dickhead. I wish you would defend my honor instead of egging that
jack-off on,” she huffed, pushing him out of the way when he leaned over to drag
her out of the truck.
“Oh Bella, be a sport,” he teased. He pushed his straggly blonde hair off of his
forehead and winced up into the morning sun. Pulling his sunglasses out of his
pocket, Jasper noticed the subject of their discussion walking toward them.
“Hey Bells, here comes your boyfriend,” he teased, putting his arm around her
waist. Bella froze momentarily, her eyes narrowing as Mr. Eager-to-Please came
bounding up like a puppy toward the two of them. He frowned when he noticed
Jasper’s arm around Bella, but it didn’t seem to deter him in the slightest.
“Hey, guys. So Bella, did you finish the math homework? Brutal, huh?” he said as
he fell in step beside them. Bella rolled her eyes at Jasper, elbowing him in the gut
to get his attention.
Save me
, she was saying.
“Hey, Newton. I think Jessica’s looking for you,” Jasper droned, finally fulfilling his
role as best friend and flyswatter. Bella gave him a withering look that said
, You
can’t come up with something better?
, but he just smiled, his Aviators flashing as
he shook his head in laughter.
Mike looked confused. “Oh, uh, thanks, Whitlock,” he stammered, then
dejectedly turned to walk away.
“Seriously, Bella. If I have to keep being your anti-wingman, the least you can do is
put out for me occasionally,” Jasper drawled, smirking down at her as they walked
toward their first class together.
“Fuuuuuuck you and the horse you rode in on,” she spat. “Do I really need to
bring up what happens when you and I make out?” They both chuckled at the
memory, shivering in tandem at the thought.
“Ahh, but Renee was such an angel that morning. Who knew that the flavor of
Bella would make me wanna puke?”
“Eat a dick, Whitlock. You don’t taste much better,” she teased, poking him in the
ribs. Bella noticed the nasty looks of most of the female population as she walked
across campus with her arm around one of the most coveted pieces of ass in
school and didn’t give a flying fuck. Jasper had been her best friend forever, and
she knew that most of the entire town of Forks assumed that the two of them
were boning. You’d
think
that would keep the boys away, but it didn’t.
It didn’t prevent the girls from hitting on Jasper constantly, either. With his
stunner good looks and long, lanky frame, Jasper was, indeed, gush-worthy. He
had no tolerance for stupidity, however, and perhaps that was the reason he
always chose to hang out with Bella rather than the army of sluts that was
constantly parading behind him. Bella knew that he was just insanely shy, but he
hid it well behind his bravado and his guitar.
“Speaking of the great Barf-o-Rama of ’04, there’s supposed to be a party at
McCarty’s this weekend,” Jasper started, but Bella put her hand up to stop him.
He expected it, but was disappointed nonetheless.
Freaking Bella. She never
wanted to find the fun
.
“Aw, come on, Bella. When was the last time we partied hearty?” he asked,
opening the door to the math class. They sat down in their usual seats next to
each other in the back of the classroom, settling down as the teacher breezed in.
They continued to argue as the class began, the teacher barely noticing since the
two of them were some of his best students.
“Yeah, ‘cause that’s how I roll, Jas. You know I can’t stand that meat puppet.
Remember when he called me a prude in front of everyone last year in Ceramics?
I should’ve punched him in the junk,” she said, barely above a whisper. Jasper
laughed at the memory.
“Yeah, well, you are too much of a goody two-shoes, Bella,” he said, wanting to
get a rise out of her.
“Suck my ass, Jasper,” she hissed. She
hated
being called that.
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